Struggle: Man against Cantaloupe (from Eric)
Genre: Mock Epic (Also from Eric)
Inspiration: Rape of the Lock, by Pope (source)
Beverage: Skyy Purple (Skyy Blue + Grenadine)
The maiden was faire as she stood sidelong;
Her man fronted by a fierce vinèd fruit.
He drew his sword, fronting his oppugnant,
Ready to avast the fierce muskmelon.
The eye of the ballèd melon stared quick.
Licking the blade of Artanamater,
His faitheful sword and steed from ages yore,
Our hero, Damantro, readied his hand.
He prepared to teach his foe a lesson
In both chivalry and respect for man.
The Cantaloupe, Grimwalde, a viney foe
Peerèd at our hero, shaitan to he.
Began Grimwalde to forward roll downward
Into the meadow beyond, to battle
A war sans pugilism, but with swords.
In the middle they met, ready to die
For the right to fight vying for lady.
Metal clashèd and ichor would splash to
In this battle of battles between two
A fruit and man would enter, one would leave.
Seeds and flesh were rent, spilling left and right.
Grimwalde faced Damantro in battle royale.
Winner take all benaming game at hand,
Artwynne stood by, faithful her beau conquers.
Yet in his prime of contention, he fell.
Grimwalde, larger than life, prepared to roll,
Creating Damantro batter within.
Artwynne stopping a breath, spake litany
For to have her hero rise triumphant.
All seemèd lost for the fallen worthy.
But soon he rose from his fallen formings
Bright with light glorious all around him.
He thrust Artanamater to the skye
And bellowèd a war cry to heaven.
Heaven responded with a lightning bolt.
Rechargèd with otherworldly powers,
He stood tally against his frutian foe,
And had at Grimwalde, making fruit salad.
The foe was significantly ballèd
When Damantro rode away with Artwynne.